a state of flux

I gave notice at work on Monday.

I've been threatening to do that for years. I've really been happy at my job, but over the course of this last year or so I actually wondered "Is this it? Is this all of my life?". I thought that only happened in the movies. I've been unhappy with my life lately, and finally grew a pair and sought out change.

The people I work with are fantastic. I will miss them all. I consider them great friends. We have been through a lot together, and are nothing short of a family. I've had a great support system since I've worked there, and am sadder to leave it than they will know. I'm leaving though, to move back to my real family, and there is no substitute for that. I've lived 800 miles away from them for 8 years now and when a family is as tightly knit as we are, it takes a toll.

I've got a new job that I think will open doors for me, artistically, personally, and financially, and am more excited about it every day. It's an opportunity to polish up rusty skill sets and get back to being more of a multi-function theater artist, which I've missed since I left school. I've really enjoyed having a specific discipline and appreciated the chance to concentrate solely on those skills, which have grown since my arrival. I miss the level of competency I used to enjoy in lighting, sound, and carpentry and am ready to wake up those sleepy skills again. I've always assumed I would eventually turn to academia as a career path and this new job will give me a chance to discover whether that is the appropriate choice for me. In addition, speaking strictly in the most business-like sense, it's also twice the $$ and a host of excellent benefits, including health, dental, and retirement - all things i have to start being responsible about.

Since moving to Illinois in general I have made great friends, some of whom know me better than I know myself sometimes. I will, of course, count them as among my closest for many years to come. Of course, I also plan to visit, so don't think you've gotten off scot-free (and you know who you are). Old friends have recently moved closer and I am sad to leave so soon after finally being close enough to visit.

This opportunity could not have come at a better time though, and is so bizarrely perfect in so many ways I could not dream of passing it up. As I look back I am sad to go, but as I look forward I can't help but be excited beyond description.

So, as my mom says, I'm in a state of flux. I hate flux, as many of you know, but this flux is both necessary and welcome. Flux away, I say!