tonight i went to an informal company christmas party. our administrative director had people over for dinner, christmas baskets, and liquor. i had a swell time, and spent a good part of the evening just observing the dynamics of the group that showed up. the people that work upstairs gathered and ate upstairs in the house, while we who work downstairs went to the basement to eat. it just sort of happened that way.

there were people who came though they didn't really want to, for varying reasons. our workplace politics are pretty fucked. they don't teach you how to deal with politics in school, but really.. can you teach that? academia is so microcosmic, the rules don't apply once you've left. i've only recently learned how important it is to be able to discern who the players are, and how to best play the field to your advantage; also, that the effects of your behavior and actions can be deceptively far reaching, through avenues you didn't know existed. i find myself thinking that i've aligned myself with certain groups at work and determining how to get the most out of the relationships i have formed there. suddenly, i have ulterior motives. sometimes i have an agenda, which i don't like to think about. i am surprised at how divisive the non-production underbelly can be, especially in light of the collaborative art we are supposed to be working collectively to achieve. i am also surprised, and disconcerted, at the insidious effects that the workplace environment can have on your attitude. i don't like this part of our business. i love what i do for a living , but hate that this is part of the package.. but really, does it have to be?

on a lighter note, i got a big bottle of whiskey from my boss - which i will be needing help drinking.. you know who you are :). time to bust out that inner child....