human jukebox

those of you who know what my music collection is like will know why i think this rocks.

One Hit Wonder Central - one hit wonders music of the 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's and 90's

early xmas at La Casa Deafgirl

my player came today and it is the sweetest thing ever. i've already filled it up with music (about 170 songs) and set up the fm station presets on the radio. it's day one and i couldn't be more pleased with it.

this weekend one of our cast members had a party for the xmas carol adults/nat staff and we all had a blast. i hadn't had a drink in weeks to save up and boy did i cash in. the best part was that i had just enough to drink, and budgeted it out responsibly, so i was in the buzzy/happy place all night. not too much, but just enough to cause a little mischief and have a social butterfly time.

this thursday is another meeting for the mardi gras party, we're back at "the big house" - the posh, riverfront home where we're holding the actual event. last thursday alan and i (mostly alan) gave a presentation of the design plan, complete with visual aids and a chalkboard.
with the help of the host, we've managed to delegate a significant portion of the scavenging and legwork to the other members of the "krewe" so that the amount of time alan and i have to dedicate has decreased dramatically. thank god.

the mural at alan's is coming slowly; i'm getting frustrated and i suspect his partner is too, but i have so much going on that i just don't have the time free that i want to dedicate to it to get it done as quickly as i would like. alan understands, and is a prince about the whole thing. i plan to head over there tomorrow night to get more done, and hopefully get closer to the light at the end of this artistic tunnel.

i talk too much.

my liver vs. the Tightass insurance companies

today was the gastroenterologist appt. it went fine. he feels it's more a case of the insurance company being a tightass than it is an actual medical problem. he says he will help me deal with insurance by writing a letter or whatever else he can do - he thinks it's gonna be hard for me to get insured now.

in better news, here's what i'm getting for xmas: that mp3 player!!

i'm going home for xmas!

also, gurl's got a job!

3d baby, 3d

today at work i am playing with 3d animation software on my computer. i've got a couple of new programs, with which i hope to create some animation projections for 80 days. it's wicked cool.

still on the fence about the glasses and i need to make a choice soon as the sale at sears ends on saturday.

here's what i want for xmas: an mp3 player. unfortunately, lots of places that have it for cheap (around $125) are out of stock. drat!

to see, or not to see

my eyes hurt when i read and use the computer. i have reading glasses; i got my eyes examined today, and i need stronger ones. apparently, in addition to my far-sightedness, i am now slightly near-sighted as well.

the choices are these:

a.) keep on with reading glasses like i have now (which i need a stronger prescription for) and use them for reading and computer work, etc.

b.) get bifocals with a weak far away prescription in addition to my up-close prescription and wear glasses all the time

things to consider:
- it is cheaper to get a whole new set of glasses than it is to get just new lenses and use the frames i already have
- bifocals are more expensive, on the whole
- i can still see fine driving and such... when the dr. put on the glasses machine at the store with my far away prescription, things were crisper but it wasn't a monumental difference.

i vote for the reading glasses until i need the far-away scrip - the doc said it's not mandatory, but then told me to go have someone help me look at bifocals.

what say you?

thanksgiving 911

someone in my building had a small kitchen fire last night, so i was on the phone to 911 at 5:45 this morning. there was smoke in the first floor hallway, and some coming out of the window of an apartment but no real danger - i got to see the firetrucks though, and that always makes me happy.

the 'guest lecture' deal went well yesterday.. i managed to crack a few jokes, and we filled up the whole class time. the kids had some good questions, some that i've never thought of like "what inspires [me] to design?" and some that were really hard to answer like "what's the hardest part of designing?". the class was at uw rock county, which is a commuter school. there were some smart questions in the class, but i think some of the kids were in 13th grade, if that makes sense.
all in all, i had a good time and feel better about the prospect of academia as a career choice in the future.

i'm going to eat turkey now.

long time no blog

we've just muddled through an extended tech/preview period for xmas carol (that's right, i took the 'christ' right the fuck out of christmas, didn't i). it's still in student matinees and opens officially on friday. i took this morning off, since i'm not running the matinees. i still have notes to do but i figure i deserve one morning to myself.

nothing new on the liver front - i don't have fatty liver, ultrasound was normal.. no hepatitis, liver enzymes are still inexplicably elevated. i now have an appt. with a gastroenterologist on dec. 10.

i'm painting a mural for my friend alan - he and his partner, roger, have just finished their 'theater room' and i'm painting theater drapes on one wall that will frame the tv. i've never painted a mural before, and am extremely apprehensive. i've cartooned out the big parts, and am almost ready to start painting. i am nervous.

on wednesday i drive to janesville, wi, to talk to an intro to theater class about my design work for the guys. i typically hate being in front of groups but, since i plan to end up in the land of academia, i suppose i'd better get used to it.

recently purchased the new rufus wainwright - want two. it's very distinctive. i had to listen to it twice to really get into it and now i've got favorite tracks which include (but are not limited to): old whore's diet, hometown waltz, and the art teacher.

away now to the shower, and then to put in an appearance at work.

nutshells

ultrasound was normal - more blood tests to come back tomorrow

house sat for some friends this weekend

knee deep in xmas carol, which is going okay

taking this evening off to clean and make food for the week

am co-chair of the decorating committee for a mardi gras party in february - we have production meetings, and a $500 budget just for decor. there are 6 sub-committees for this shi-shi party which is invite only.

total, gut-wrenching, marrow-chilling, disappointment

i cannot even believe the election results. i am disappointed in the citizens of this country that i would, right now, rather not call my own.

please god. please.

if bush wins, i will cry.
and then i will move out of the country.

CNN.com Election 2004

in health related news

i sucked it up and paid $70 to see a doctor on saturday night. he was very nice but told me that i can't ignore the numbers. my liver area is more tender than it should be (he did the whole 'lie down on the table and take deep breaths while i apply pressure to your liver) and he's concerned about "fatty infiltration". he recommended a liver ultrasound. so they're setting that up for me this week and if that comes back normal, there's a panel of tests he wants to run. if it's not normal, well, we'll deal with that when it happens. nobody at the office was able to tell me how much this is gonna cost -

i asked the nurse for a ballpark and she said "i'm not sure". i said "well, are we talking under a thousand dollars?" and she said: "probably".

grrr

in other, more infuriating and unsettling news, i got declined for health insurance today because of abnormal test results. the good people at humana provided me with a copy of the lab results, but no explanation. i have high levels of ast and alt, but don't have any idea really of what the hell that means. it also appears that my creatinine is also high, but who the fuck knows what that is either.

fuck all!

woo hoo!

in other news, i just found out that my sister has been published in an anthology!! go buy it!! my sister rawks!!

wishful thinking

some of you know that my favorite thing to do on friday nights from october through april is go to an icehogs game. i love watching minor league hockey. usually, i am hoarse from screaming by the time the game is done, and in the off season i go through a slight withdrawl period.

some of you also know that once i've set my sights on something i'd like to have, i will obsess over it until one of two things happens: a.) i get it b.) i wake up and spontaneously decide i don't need it. well, i've decided i want an icehogs jersey. i've customized it in my head, with #2 and "my pig" on the nameplate, in honor (in some wierd way) of my nieces, who have stuffed animal pigs. the only problem is it's gonna run me like $200.

what i need from you is help in justifying this kind of expenditure, given my usual "somewhat strapped for cash" financial situation. or else, you could suggest ways in which i might come up with the extra cash...feel free to be creative. also, know that i've recently completed one gig in the city, with a $200 price tag, and will soon open another, with a $150 check waiting for me. also know that i've not worked either one of these checks into my household budget - they were earmarked for my savings account and while they would certainly be helpful in easing my budgetary belt, they are "extra money" as far as my checkbook is concerned.

what's a girl to do?

rufus and me

i can't decide whether the best part of last night was the actual concert, getting my ticket stub autographed, having my picture taken with rufus, or hugging him.

votes?

just half a cup please

today i had to submit to an exam as part of the application process for my new health insurance. i gave two vials of blood.. seeing my blood drain into the vials was kind of hypnotic, after i recovered from the initial needle stick. now that's done, i should be insured within the week.

today at work we had more meetings for christmas carol. it's eating a hole in my soul. there are so many entrances, exits, interiors, exteriors, ghosts, tricks, and furniture that has to get on and off... aye me!

tomorrow is rufus. i'm so excited i feel i might blow up. i've seen him once before, when we got standing room right in front of the stage - there might have been 25 feet between me and rufus. they are general admit tix at the vic in chicago - i think this time we may opt for actual seats; he's playing solo and i expect it to be more chill which would be nice to have seats to kick back.

in other music related news, today i whipped out bjork's vespertine to bring to work today.. i haven't listened in a while because i was never able to really get into that album. i thought maybe i needed some time away. i was mistaken. i still can't listen to the whole thing in one sitting. i miss her dancier stuff, including selmasongs, which i love. her earlier albums, up through homogenic and some of the selma tracks were more like thunderous, rolling, beat-driven soundscapes. i miss that with vespertine which reminds me more of a toked up jewelry box. there are a couple of tracks that i don't mind, but on the whole it's not my cup of tea.
that's my spontaneous pseudo-review.

the big city

yesterday i was in the big city. i went to see a clockwork orange, the defiant's last show, at gallery 37 down in the loop. it was a grand time - it was the kind of theater i don't get to see often: provacative, swear words, violence, and intentionally disturbing.

after the show, we went to a club called neo. it's a club known for playing industrial dance music all the time, and it happened that last night in particular was goth night. now, i was never a goth, or really really into the whole industrial scene, but sometimes it's good to let your Dirty Evil Side out just a little bit. i drank, and danced, and have never felt so suburban in my life. i suddenly felt extremely unpierced, undyed, unzippered, untatooed.

i spend last night on christa's couch, and this morning i drove home, full of plans for the day.. i have stuff to work on, and honestly intended to be uber-productive. instead, i took a nap, watched some tv, ate a chicken patty (which i'm convinced contain some sort of addictive ingredient that's got to be illegal).

now, i'm going to do the dishes, and head to bed in hopes of getting enough rest to be doubly productive on my surprise day off tomorrow.

number two

debate number two just ended. i have to say it was less entertaining to watch. i felt like neither candidate really answered some of the questions, and i heard a lot of the same stuff they spoke about in the first debate. w seemed more together this time, which probably indicates more practice with whatever coaching staff he has, not a better handle on the issues, or more skill as a public speaker.

i still think w is evil, and that his behavior tonight demonstrated a lack of respect for the moderator, the audience, and the Senator. he outright ignored charlie gibson several times, speaking right over him, and i thought that was disgraceful. that is not the guy i want to be the public face of this country. can you just imagine him at a summit?

in work news, we got christmas carol scripts and are working feverishly on new ideas for that show. the guys is going well - several people in the talkback last night said they were going to immediately buy season subscriptions based on last night's performance. how encouraging is that?

tomorrow i go to the farm to ride horses all morning and afternoon, riding trails with groups that come for a 45 minute horse ride. after i shower and get lunch, i drive to chicago to see a clockwork orange and to go clubbing at neo. should be fun.

i'm gonna finish watching nightline and go to bed.

evenhanded?

the review of the guys, the first show of our 33rd season.

what do you think about that?

sunday

spent four hours on a horse today. i'm sore in some places.

watched a movie tonight, dogville. i found it interesting, and refreshing perhaps.

tomorrow i drive to normal (hm) to see rocky horror picture show at iwu; my friend eric did the lighting and a group of us are going for moral support.

tuesday i have dinner plans with alan.

saturday i'm riding horses again, and traveling to chicago to see a clockwork orange.

the review for friday night's opening of the guys is not online yet. its arrival is highly anticipated.

i've changed the settings for comments - anyone should be able to comment now; to those of you heretofore suffering in silence (betsy), i apologize.

comment freely.
and...... begin.

ch ch ch ch changes

last night i wore a turtleneck outside, because it was chilly enough.
last night was our official opening of the 33rd season of nat.
this morning it's chilly enough to wear my sleeper footie pajamas.
today, my ghetto neighbors are moving out.

yay for changes.

i mean, really.

if you've just watched the first presidential debate, how could you even consider voting for w?

i mean, really.

technology teaser

well, i can blog from work, and surf the internet aplenty, but i cannot use aim or internet radio - these are two things i was really looking forward to. i am on the server at work now, though, so i have official email and get memos and use my outlook calendar and everything!

additionally, jessie got us tix to go see rufus wainwright on oct. 13 at the vic for my birthday. it's just him, no band, and i couldn't be more excited!! i hope i can afford a t-shirt this time!

office environments

guess who's online at work now??

the home stretch

show #1 is open - i await my paycheck with which i think i may purchase a wide angle lens for my camera so i can take full-stage shots at work.

show #2 is tantalizingly close to finished. we cut a bunch of scenery over tech weekend. we felt it was starting to diminish the effect we were going for so we scrapped it, making us even closer to being finished than i had initially anticipated. woo!

i still have hives, though they appear to be subsiding. i've decided recently that they are most likely a product of stress more than new deodorant, although that probably didn't help. nonetheless, i threw out the almost new stick of secret... i was a little sad. i fucking hate hives - the are an instrument of the deveeeeel.

this coming week i am going on vacation - in my house. i don't want to talk to anyone, help anyone, decide anything, go anywhere, be depended upon for anything. i need to take back my life, and spend some quality time coralling all my ducks back into a row. they have gone astray, those poor, poor ducks. i need to pay bills, clean my house, do laundry, play with my cat, clean my car, and watch copius amounts of rental dvd's.

speaking of rental dvd's, i recently rented starsky and hutch and girl with a pearl earring. i enjoyed them both. i think owen wilson and ben stiller together are just generally funny. s&h was a silly movie, that i didn't have to think about, that made me laugh. i don't think i'll own it, but it was $4 i didn't mind having spent. i especially enjoyed girl...earring. i found it very intriguing and was sad i didn't get a chance to watch it again before i had to take it back.. i may own that one someday. there is a great 'anatomy of a scene' special feature that encompasses not only actor stuff but has a great piece on the production design aspects, and that's always a thumbs up in my book. i feel i may rent it again down the line to see if i can pinpoint what makes it so interesting.

and.... scene.

and all your titles are belong to me

i'm trying titles.

i have hives in my entire underarm area. i've decided they are a result of a mixture of new chemicals + stress... every time i encounter the tiniest bit of stress, they itch more.

what a perfect time to be going into tech for show #2.

also, i applied for health insurance today, and this makes me an adult.

so there.

Armpits of Fire


i think i'm allergic to secret deodorant. when i woke up this morning, both my armpits appeared to have a little rash goin on. by the time i got home tonight, they are both rashy, bumpy, swollen, flaming red, and burn like hellfire. i've put cortisone10 on them, so hopefully that'll do it. what's weird is i've been using the deodorant for about a week or so now, and this came on literally overnight.

i thought for a minute that it could be stress related, since i'm practically oozing stress right now, but it seems like an odd place to manifest, no?

show #1 is essentially done. any more notes from here on out can hopefully be accomplished via email.. this week alone i drove into chicago 5 times. i'm so tired of the kennedy. it's an interesting show, and i will post reviews as i find them... it opens on tuesday night and marks my professional chicago debut. it's a new company and the space is interesting.

now i can move on to show #2 altogether.. it's coming along.

i'm taking my inflamed armpits to bed.

and this! do this now too!

George Says...

go do this now!

John Says...

those of you who know me pretty well might find this article interesting... amusing, and interesting.

IOL: Science & Tech

i used to write poetry, way in the way back years of college. this is the professor i had. how cool is that?

Barb Hurd wins a prize

you know how sometimes conan o'brien has "george w bush" on as a guest - on the tv screen with someone else's mouth? tonight he had "zell miller" on, who challenged conan to a duel. when conan refused, miller said he was left with no choice but to challenge him to ... a duel of hungry, hungry hippos.

i haven't laughed that hard in a while. except maybe when i see the dq commercial for the new 'moolatte' where there's a woman 'taste tester' who runs, blindfolded, into a window wall. that one gets me every time.

today i was a responsible citizen. i was a pro-active american.

today i registered to vote.

of course, i plan to vote "the right way" as my mom says.

got vote?

you know what's on my radio?

"doin da butt"

who got a big ol butt?
sexy sexy!

today was semi-productive.

at work, i moved my office space around to accomodate my new drafting table. you see, i used to share the office in the scene shop with the td and lighting designer. since we've restructured and renovated upstairs, a good deal of space opened up on the third floor. now that i have my own table, and can draft on the computer and send it downstairs on the network, i am more portable than i once was. after four versions of spatial relations, i finally settled on the arrangement i have now, and i think i'm going to be very happy.

i also managed to finalize (i think) the design for show #2. i feel good about where we've gone with it, and it's definitely different than anything i've done. i'm excited about it.

i even wrote rough cues for show #1, which goes into tech this weekend. i still have a final pipe of lights to hang, and i have some left to cable - i also have make sure what's in the air agrees with my plot, otherwise i'm going to have some issues. i left my notes on saturday, that had some changes i'd made on the fly. i think i remembered them correctly; if not, i will cry since the show i wrote tonight is based on those revisions.

as a matter of interest, what could be better than neopolitan ice cream sandwiches? and sex doesn't count since that's already a given.

away! to slumber!

yesterday i bought a drafting table. it is sweet, and more table than i ever thought i could afford - i may be inclined to post pictures later. it cost me $80. it should've been illegal.

today the service engine light came on in my car, and i got a letter from the bank that says i never made august's car payment, which i am typically religious about.

what is that????

i think i don't like doing "storefront" theater.

today was "hang and focus" day for show #1. there were sposed to be "crew" to "help" "us" hang the plot (that's being used by his show also). instead, it was me. the guy that said "we" would have "people" spent the day fixing other stuff, running power to the booth so the board could be plugged in. i spent the day up and down on a wooden a-frame that was c-clamped to a table (with no wheels). the two other guys that showed up were building the set for the show that shares the light plot. they helped me move the table around when i had to go where i couldn't drag it myself. guy #1 left for a while, came back before he had to go to work, and waited while i plugged in all the dimmers at the racks. then we fired up all the instruments i'd managed to hang, circuit, and color myself from 10 to 5. i got through 3/4 of the plot. there is still a batten over the house that needs done, but i have to do it from an extension ladder that has no rubber on it's feet so someone needs to sit on it while i'm on top. one of the pipes that i hung yesterday can't be fired up until saturday because i ran out of adapters for the asinine combination of edison and twist lock plugs. also, all the battens are unistrut, which is a tool of the devil.

the bottom line is that i drove into chicago today hoping to be done with hang and focus by the time i left. i am not. i have to go back saturday, hopefully with help, and hang the last pipe and re-circuit the one i couldn't finish. i have to beg twofers and gel frames from eric, and hope that etc offline works the way i think it does, so i can do all the board work here instead of sitting at the board there.

fin.

yeah, i forgot that i do have tiny other news.

i have been presented with an opportunity to go up to some college in wisconsin and speak to a class, as a professional scene designer, about the design process which resulted in our first show this season, the guys. apparently, these kids are going to come see the show and the teacher had hoped one of us could go talk to the kids afterwards, at their school, about how the design process unfolds and develops into a realized production.

now, i don't know whether these are college kids in an arts class like my sister teaches, or if they're design/theater students. i don't even know if it's something i want to do. the thing is (and there's always a "thing"), i hope to go academic sometime in my career and if i hope to do well i have to get over my "i hate public speaking" thing. so i've decided that even if i don't want to, i should take this opportunity.

that's my other tiny news.

i am sitting at my computer, procrastinating yet again.

i should be writing a patch and possibly cues for show #1. i should also be picking color, and putting together a light plot for that same show.

instead, i am surfing the web, shopping ebay for stuff i can't afford, and drinking mountain dew first thing in the morning... which is not the way to start my day.

i'm also debating whether i have the $$ to buy a drafting table, with a drafting machine, i saw advertised in the paper. the guy wants $95 for it, and that is a steal of a price. before he'll sell it, though, his daughter wants to put it on ebay. so i'm sposed to call back on tuesday to find out whether he'll be doing that or will sell it to me for $80, which he said he'd be willing to take. cross your fingers.

in other news, i will be 30 in two months.

some quick observations from watching the republican national convention:

i think i may have seen 10 non-whites during the entire broadcast.

the republicans need a new chant - "four more years".

i have to say that zell miller is a very compelling speaker, even if you don't agree with what he's saying.. he's very fervent.

i've seen several seemingly disinterested people in the audience.

if democrats, generally speaking, were so unpatriotic would they really care who was running the country? wouldn't they just get high and burn flags? or move to belgium or peru?

i'm so glad the Military is the only issue up for debate in the election. clearly we have everything else under control. i mean, do we really even need health care? i feel fine.

dick cheney just said "george w. bush" and "wisdom" in the same sentence.

listening to all the republicans talk about w's 'warm/big/open/generous heart' and 'loyalty' make him sound like he'd make a great dog.

my ass hurts.

we went riding yesterday for the first time in two weeks or so. we did lots of running in the woods and i had a smashing good time. now my butt is sore. i have mostly sitting work to do today, so i suppose that is good, since my legs also hurt. it was totally worth it.

meetings in chicago this past weekend, will post more later.

you'll be relieved to know that my tetanus shot is up to date now.

i stepped on a rusty nail at work today and it went through my shoe and into my foot a good ways. not through my foot, but enough that it bled pretty profusely there for a minute. i cleaned up and went to the doctor's where i got a five day supply of cipro and a tetanus shot.

then jessie bought me dinner, and i spent the last $15 of my birthday money on austin powers I and II - for $8 apiece!

i am back in illinwah. not really by choice, more by obligation.
the cat is pleased to see me, and has not left my side since i got back last night.

i spent this morning sifting through emails about show #3 and deleted a bunch of stuff that was just group mailed and has nothing to do with me. i'm going into the city on sunday to present the design and meet the cast, etc. monday i have a meeting at 12 noon, so i will probably stay at gurl's (although she doesn't know it yet). wednesday or thursday i will be back in the city to watch a runthrough (hopefully) of show #1 so i can do a light plot to hang that weekend.

i've made headway on show #2 this morning also, and feel better about where i'm headed with that one.

i'm currently listening to the lost 80's lunch hour on the radio - with all the good songs that came out in the 80's, how come people keep requesting the same 10 songs? how many times can you hear "oh mickey" or "99 red ballons" before you just want to shoot someone?

i am home at my mom's. i love it here. i don't want to leave. i got here yesterday, and have spent the past tow days playing with jackie's two year old twins. they are awesome and love their Aunt Neen. one drinks "waka", the other drinks "oya". both stand for water. tomorrow we are going shopping, where i will use up birthday $$ on new clothes, which i need. saturday, i'm going to baltimore to see a movie with jackie, and possibly hit the town for the afternoon. she is fine after her appendectomy this weekend, and says that by monday she feels she'll be back to normal. tuesday my mom and i are going up to watch the babies while jackie gets her staples out. i got an email today about issues with drawings for show #3; the email attachments opened okay but are not showing up the way they need to. i don't have them with me, so they will have to wait for new ones until i get back. anyhow, that's life in the (temporarily) slow lane.

just as a psa:

woman does not equal moron.

i ate way too much today.

strike went well but we didn't get quite as much done as i'd hoped. we still have time tomorrow though, and i'm sure we'll get everything done in a reasonable amount of time.

my sister is in the hospital while i'm writing this - she had an emergency appendectomy early saturday morning. my mom said she's okay and would be home tonight hopefully, but since she hasn't called, i guess maybe it's tomorrow instead. i'd prefer that my sister stay out of hospitals from now on as i don't know what i'd do without her.

still counting the minutes 'til i get the hell out of here - motivator is still broken.

for those of you on the edge of your seat in anticipation, i was successful last night in my attempt to eat free snackysnacks and drink more than i should. we had a grand time, both during the show and after. there was pizza, and we pumped up the sound system and i turned on some artistic lighting so people could get their groove on. when we tired of that, a few of us moved down the street to the belwah to sober up. i had more water in that two hours than i've had all week. we dished, and gossiped. and then we dished some gossip. i had a grand time. this moring i felt a little queasy, but was over that in a matter of seconds.

today is strike day; we will take everything down and put it in neat piles to load up our truck on monday to take everything back to storage. i anticipate a smooth operation today, and monday too. tonight is the volunteer dinner for the pony park - it's at tumbleweeds and they'll give us whatever we want under $8.99. i am very excited.

tuesday i anticipate laundry and sloth. wednesday i fly home, and couldn't be happier about it. i'm lookin at a whole week of maxxin and relaxxin. with some baby playin and some dining out mixed in, it promises to be a little slice of heaven.

so far today i have managed to remain relatively unproductive. it's frustrating really, i think something in my motivator is broken. i have been to the bank, and downloaded etc offline so i can write cues at home for #1. i did all the dishes and took out the trash. i sent out some important emails and made some design choices. these are all positive things, but not things i had on my "i'm a professional working at home, i should do these things today" list.

tonight i go up to beloit for our last show of the season. there is an after-part, with free wine and cheese. this should be a good time and will hopefully extend on into the night, at the bar down the street. i plan to help myself to the free snackeysnacks. tomorrow and monday we strike and put the space/shop back in order and that's the end of my summer gig. which is fine.

i've put out an invitation to several friends from college that i haven't spoken to in a while - i hope they show up.

yesterday i sent out an email regarding show #3; i'd sent drawings but hadn't heard as to whether they'd been received or whatever. they got them, had one question, and are off and running. so show #3 officially goes on the back burner... i have to do a sketch, but the big deal is over for now. this leaves shows #1 and #2. i had meetings for show #2 this week, and am very excited.

over the past season, i felt like we'd sort of turned into an art factory - what does the show require - get it up, done is good. i feel, with this script, like i have a chance now to push the envelope again, and i feel like i'm finally working with someone who inspires me as an artist, rather than a facilitator. i'm pumped.

show #1 is slightly more complex, since i'm doing lights, i really need to get in to see a runthrough. this is in the city = lots of driving. i can't really do a plot to light stuff until i know where it's gonna happen. so right now i'm picking color, etc, and trying to get ahead of the game so when i go into hang and focus it goes lickety split. also, i'm hoping to get my hands on etc offline so i can write cues before i get there. then i hope to be able to just plug them into the board and tweak as we go. say a little prayer.

today i plan to do some laundry and work on #3's sketch and thumbnails for #2. i think i will take #1 and #2 home with me, to some degree, and that's prolly fine.

woot!

well, i've changed the template. are we happy now?

here's what i've decided as far as titles go - if one strikes me, i will title it. otherwise, i will continue to just blurt things out like usual.

also, jackie thinks my blog is too dark. questions? comments? concerns?

SAB, Matthew

bible trashing, anyone?

appropo

i bought catsup today. the label says : "will work for food".

this weekend there is a jehovah's witness convention in town. during lunch time they all come out to their cars, and tailgate in the parking lot with their coolers and nametags... the sidewalk was full of them yesterday and all i could think was "look at all those people with no birthday".

today i attended a memorial service at nat for one of our board members that passed away last week. it's weird to attend something like that for someone you didn't really know that well - watching someone else's family celebrate their life.

right now i'm listening to indigo girls' rites of passage - it's like the soundtrack to half my college career, gives me flashbacks. good ones though, not like some crazy lesbian acid trip.

tomorrow is a company picnic for nat staff and crew - it's out at the park where we ride ponies; we hope to get in a ride before the picnic.

just sent away drawings for show #3. i think they're done so now all that show needs is color elevations and i can put it to bed for a little bit. got to work on show #1 - order color and stuff 'cause it's creepin up fast. show #2 is lookin like it's gonna be pretty small, not because it's easier (in some ways it's not) but because it's right for the script... things are shaping up in my favor and, since i'm not entirely used to that, it's kinda wiggy.

i'm thinking about starting to title my blog entries... what say you?

well, as it turns out, the $$ i make from shows #1 and #3 will not be spent on a shiny new pda like i had hoped. it will be spent on part of a new fuel pump and coolant sensor for my car. i say "part" because the $450 total dollars in fees from those shows will cover about 2/3 of the cost of the new pump and sensor.

today i hate my car. i had a '91 escort before this.. it was old, but did everything i asked it to. the whole purpose of selling that and getting a newer car was so i could budget for payments instead of surprise $400 radiators and shocks. that has not proved to be the case, and i could not be more pissed about it.

cars suck.

we all see these kids. some of you are these kids.

hipster bingo

yesterday i cleaned like a mofo.

i find it hard to be productive and creative in a messy house. now, don't think for a minute that i'm some kind of neat-freakhousemustbecleanatalltimesiwearwhitegloveswhenicheckfordust wierdo, but i can only tolerate a certain level of mess for so long. since i've been so busy over this past summer, i haven't had a chance to clean on a regular basis. the bathroom was gettin' pretty nasty - you can only spot clean a bathroom for so long before you just straight up lose that battle. yesterday i threw a lot of stuff away- some of it was stuff that's been sitting around for years. it felt good. when my house is messy, i feel like my life is spinning out of control. when i get that feeling, it's not sexual healing i need, it's a clean bathroom.

now that it's lookin decent around here, i have some work to get done.. sketches and groundplans. last night i worked on show #1 in bed- can't continue on that one as much until i get a groundplan. also, since NAT starts up soon, i will be picking up show #2 here very shortly. it's a little unnerving when i look at my calendar for septemeber; i'm not entirely sure how i will service shows #1 and #2 with such overlapping schedules in different cities. i'm sure it can be done though, and i will find the way.

it helps that i'm doing lights for #1, that the space is small, and the script is short. there is no intermission and it's about 43 pages long total. i went through that script again last night, making little q notes. there are some opportunities in there for some really cool sutff - saturated colors and maybe some pattern work too.. very exciting. then there's show #3, another show in the big city. for this i am doing the scenery, but all i have to do is drawings and some elevations, then show up for load in. i am not as concerned about this one as #1/#2 because it's production schedule does not appear to overlap with anything at NAT. this is the show i need to work on today and tomorrow; i've got to get revised sketches to the director and a revised groundplan so we can discuss, revise again and then i can create drawings to send to the TD, who will build and paint it.

i think though, that i will brunch before i sketch.. you should never sketch hungry...or, wait, is that grocery shop?... i can never remember.

see, the problem i'm having is - is my schedule typically busy enough to require the use of a pda?  i've been fine without one for this long, and i'm not sure what kind of freelance work i will pick up during the season - am i making enough contacts to warrant spending $$ on something like this? my friend beth has one, a shiny new dell one with all sorts of bells and whistles.. some stuff i'm not sure i'd ever use.  i found a deal on some palm pda's for like  $50, last year's model, and wonder "if i'm gonna buy one, should i just go all out and get one that's got extra stuff so i 'm not just buying a new one next year?"

you see my dilemma?  i want to know, who's got one, do they like it, what kind is it, any advice?

today, my soul is free.   today, i am a liberated woman in control of my own destiny (to a degree).  today, my spirit has been uplifted.  today, i quit Retail.

after careful consideration of schedule, finances, and the physics of the space-time continuum, i've decided that i can afford to quit Retail and pare my activity back to one job.

also today,  i drove into chicago for a production meeting.  i also rescheduled work tomorrow so i could go ride horses in the morning.  also today, before i go to bed, i will have bought a plane ticket to go home.  what a great day.

i was in walmart tonight considering buying a cheap pda.  any thoughts? 

also,   my more-decorating phase is now leaning toward  classic movie posters.

so august is shaping up to be a killer month.  i mean, busy killer.i'm trying to plan a trip home in the middle of august, between beloit and nat, and it's much harder than it should be.

had a staff meeting at nat, very exciting and inspirational.

i plan to quit Retail today or tomorrow, as my schedule is about to get all squirrley, and they plan to start teaching me new stuff - i figure it's a waste of their time since i'd be quitting eventually anyway.  i think i've got enough in the bank to hold me over, so i figure it's time.

i hope to do horses again this week, for the first time in a long time.  i also have to go into chicago tomorrow, or possibly tonight, for  a meeting at 9 am about my lighting gig.  i'm very excited - we're touring the space, and hopefully i'll come back with some sort of groundplan or sketch action for the set.   it's hard to do lighting when you don't know what the set looks like.

my ghetto neighbors are currently blasting the crap out of their stereo.  when i pay rent this week, my landlord and i are gonna have a little sit down.  i 'm  really tired of this bass crap... my sleepand work  habits are actually being affected by my neighbor's stereo and that's just bullshit.

i should shower now - gotta get ready for Retail.

my hair is in a ponytail.  this hasn't happened since high school which, suffice to say, was a while back.  it's been growing for a while now, quite by happenstance really.  i've not had the time and the money, simultaneously, since way back in the spring sometime.  i'm not sure what to do with it now - i could either have it cut like usual, or keep it longish and layery-like.  it's a nice change of pace, and i like tucking it behind my ears but sometimes it's a pain in the ass.  suggestions?
 
my fish got a new filter. they are noticeably peppier and the water is markedly clearer.  my wallet suffers for the happiness of a few fishies.  such a softie am i. 
 
i feel i need some new artwork in the house.  i've got several pieces that need framed, or re-framed, and a couple of spots that just need something new.  to this end, i'm surfing the web looking for pieces that strike my fancy.  i've looked at posters of architectural elevations, ireland, vintage theater and movie posters, vintage ad posters, travel posters, and current theater and movie posters.  again, any suggestions?
 
i'm listening to elvis costello.  damn, he's good.  watchin' the detectives.....
 
 

methinks my fishtank requires a new filter. this is upsetting on two levels: my poor fishies are swimming around in shitty water, and a newer/better filter will probably run me around $30 - $35. which i don't really have to spend on a fish filter. hm. i am also seriously considering trading in my plecostamus at the local pet store. he's gotten muy huge, and he positvely fills the fishtank with shit on a daily basis. petland does trades, and i think he's of a substantial enough size to get some good trade-in value. i'm conflicted though, since technically he is my pet and i don't know how i feel about that. i mean, really, he's a fish and won't know the difference. but finding nemo and all that...what's a girl to think?

in other news, i had a phone conference tonight for the scene design gig in chicago - i felt very 'freelance professional'. it was really funny since i sounded very official and "right on top of that rose" while sitting in my living room with harry potter in the background, and wearing shorts and a baseball cap. i loved it. i'm still awaiting meeting minutes from the meeting i had to miss last night due to Retail.

i wasn't able to trail ride today and my heart is heavy. my sleep deprived brain and body rejoiced though, i will admit.
next wednesday i plan to return, depending on what kind of shape guys on ice is in.

yesterday i lay like broccoli. it was glorious.

today i worked retail for a few hours. i really want to quit that job but my uncertain future prevents me from waving goodbye to easy money.

i am currently working on scene designs for two shows about ice-fishing. who knew? and one is a musical!

tomorrow i plan to be still like vegetables. i have managed to have the day off, through some divine intervention. two days off in two weeks!!

i had a meeting in chicago for the lighting design project, which happens in september. it's an adaptation of 'ipheginia' which takes place in a 1930's diner in the american west. it's a very intriguing project on several levels. first, the director has encouraged me to get funky with several moments in the play where we aim to take the audience to a different, wierder, place where they will have a "what the hell?" moment. secondly, the play shares the space with another show that plays after us, on the same stage, every night. this means that i have to come up with a plot sort of in conjunction with another designer that i have never met. lastly (for right now) the theater is a storefront that was once a speakeasy during prohibition. there is ornate plasterwork throughout and it's got 24 exits to other fake storefronts and buildings and alleys. also, it's haunted.

tonight i rented cold mountain. i saw it in the theater and was not sure how i felt about it. i think, on the one hand, that it's an interesting story. on the other, i still feel like there could have been less seemingly un-necessary bloodshed. i feel like there's more story there, and so i hope to read the novel - in my copius free time.

i have to get some sleep now - i want to be well rested for the day of continuous loafing i have scheduled for tomorrow.

more trail rides today. i also got to pat a bunny who purrs.

press conference at work with new guy, upbeat and encouraging but still no job confirmation.

cemented another gig in the city, for september, for lighting design, which i have not done for a while. little apprehensive, but excited. i have a produciton meeting in chicago friday morning and will know more then.

very tired now, as trail ride days start with chores at 6 am.

also full of bad chinese food, which i'm sure i'll pay for somewhere around 3 am.

well, i didn't win the $300 million mega-millions jackpot.

it's a shame really, i'd already planned how to start spending the money and it's a shame all those plans have to go to waste.

last night i saw farhenheit 9/11. has anyone else seen this movie? i'm curious to hear other people's reactions.

my friend gurl is involved with an up and coming theater company in chicago that is currently trying to arrange a european tour for next season and it's possible i could go with them. i have a gig for them in september, doing lights for a show. let's hope it goes well.

my cat is the cutest of all cats.

why buy a motorcycle helmet if it's just gonna ride around on the back of your motorcycle?

two nights ago, in my dream, reese witherspoon was hitting on me,and totally all about me. last night, i was getting ready to leave for ireland again, but with my college roommate, who was sposed to go with me the first time but was unable to. i wonder what will happen tonight.

i helped again with trail rides this wednesday, and it was just as fun as the first time! i got to yell at little kids!!

my ghetto neighbor is all loud tonight. i heard them fighting yesterday - she wants him to go but he won't go. i guess they keep making up, 'cause he's still here. he doesn't work so is home all day drinking and listening to the stereo loudly.

i hate them.

spaghettio's with meatballs = good
spaghettio's with meat sauce = blechhhh

lemonade kool-aid = good
lemon ice kool-aid = blechhhh

'tis true enough

today is the first day i've had off in quite a while. i'm not sure when the last one was, i think sometime back in april. actually, i have the whole weekend to myself, to do as i see fit. i feel guilty though, like there's something i'm forgetting to do. but there isn't.

last night we went and saw the stepford wives. i liked it. my sister and i agree that nicole kidman can do no wrong, and i'll stick to that. matthew broderick is cute like a bunny rabbit. i thought the movie, on the whole, was entertaining. i really enjoyed the aesthetics of the town of stepford, and who among us hasn't wished for a simpler, more black and white life sometimes? i admit though, i was more attracted to the idea of a stepford husband/man because where's the fun in making all the women the same? i would program my Stepford Man to know all there is to know about auto mechanics, home improvement, and stock brokerage, able to do excessive heavy lifting, and to treat me like his mother at all times - and to never, ever argue, second guess, or complain. oh, and with a remote control with a shut off button. he would also need a handy carrying case, so i could put him away when i don't need him.

today i plan to sit around. i do need to run a couple of errands, like hit the bank, and do some grocery shopping, and clean my apartment. the beauty is that i can stretch it out over two days! tomorrow night i'm going in to chicago to gurl's housewarming/birthday party, but that's not 'til 7. on monday we start work on show #2 at new court, and i think that one will go together pretty quick too. next sunday is chicago pride.

i have to sit around some more now, i'm tired from all this strenuous typing.

today i was up at 6, and at the farm by 6:30 to help with campers. we did regular chores and then we (+ a few other volunteers) saddled up a dozen horses to take little kids out on the trail. i rode in the middle of each group, of about 10 kids, on a total of four rides. elizabeth rode in front and kristin rode behind the column to keep all the stragglers in line.
i helped them get on the horse, told them how to steer and during the ride i made sure they all stayed on their horses and tried to get them to stop their ponies from snacking on the trail.

i am tired. i came home and took a nap, and for those of you in the know, you know that means i am really, really tired. i work retail tonight, and i really want to quit that job. the $$ is nice to have but i'm exhausted all the time... i expected "part time" to mean 10-12 hours, but it seems that it really means 18 and i can't handle that. i'm gonna ask them to cut my hours back more and we'll see if that works out better.

i saw harry potter, i am still not sure how i felt about it. i saw all the harry potter characters on the screen, and the hogwarts castle, but it was such a different movie i don't feel like i saw a harry potter movie. i feel like i'll see it again just to be sure. also on the list: stepford wives, and shrek 2.

i have to go dress for retail now.

educating rita is open. this weekend i sat through tech for another show, don't drink the water. i was designer eyeballs for my friend dan - it's his show but he couldn't be there for tech.

sitting for 10 hours in a dark, air conditioned room is a lot harder than it sounds.

now i've got tonight and tomorrow day to relax... then i've got meetings on tuesday for show two at new court.

workin 18 hours this week at M_____.

freakin busy!!

btw: that toilet/lawn ornament is gone!

one show down, one to go. tonight is the opening of educating rita at new court and boy am i glad. i am one tired puppy.

today i helped betsy with horses, and got stepped on by a pony. my left foot is kinda swollen on the outer side, and i expect part of it will soon turn purply. it hurt then, but now it's sorta just a tiny ache.

i have to go paint the floor now, and sit through yet another
performance.

even though you think it might be clever, don't ever use a toilet as a lawn ornament. especially not if your plans include frolicking gnomes and cement frogs in conjunction with said toilet.

the girl bar excursion was a good time i suppose, we went on a saturday night and didn't get out 'til late so it was deader than we'd hoped.. we'll be going back though 'cause on friday nights they've got salsa night and the place is sposed to be jumpin.

work is calming down slightly. quilters has opened, thank god, and now i'm focusing on educating rita, which opens on thursday. quilters strikes on tuesday and it's safe to say that it will have been my last foray (for a while anyhow) into the seventh level of hell that community theater can be. the show is fine but man did it take up more of my time than i expected.

someone peed in my elevator yesterday, or maybe it was two days ago... anyway it really reeks in there.

tonight i hope to see a late show of harry potter. wish me luck.

tonight i'm going into the big city to go to a girl bar with my friend gurl. i haven't been out in a little while, and haven't been to a girl bar in almost two years i figure. i think we will have an exceptional evening and i am very excited on the inside.

my new theater job is going well, it's almost a return to my beginnings, as it's tiny budget, borrow everything, spend $50. it's great.

i should go shower so i can be all hot and catch me a woman tonight.

the cutest babies ever! 

well it appears our prayers have been answered.

i've got a new job for the summer, working in WI with a good friend. he's got a summer company and i'm the design/tech kid for the summer. it's a good gig i think, and sure beats the hell out of retail. i've kept the retail job part time though, in hopes of making a few $$ on the side, and possibly partaking of benefits, which they extend to part time employees.

i spent this past week house-sitting for some friends, feeding the cat and keeping the hot tub warm :). it was good times, and free cable and laundry. what's not to like?

it makes me want a house. not a big one, and not in rockford, but a house all the same. i want to nest. i want to pick out co-ordinating wall and trim colors, and install window treatments. i want to sit on my porch, and watch movies really loud.

although i did/do despise the retail gig, it did what it was sposed to do - i've paid my bills and eaten since nat went dark for the summer... working with all those art supplies all day has also inspired me to start flexing my fine art muscles again i think. typically my art has to be big, but i'd like to get back into the charcoal, pencil, action again - i've got the stuff to do it already, and the mad skillz (rusty as they may be).

i think i'll go scribble.

attention Shoppers, the time is now 8:45 pm and ____ will be closing in 15 minutes. please bring your purhcases to the front of the store at this time. ____ will re-open tomorrow for your shopping convenience at 9 am, and thank you for shopping at ____.



dear Valued Customer,

get the fuck out of my store. it's 8:59 pm and i want to go home. i don't want to spend the next 10 minutes helping you pick out mat colors for your kid's fingerpainting that you're not even going to buy tonight 'cause you want to "comparison shop some more".

or,

it's 8:59 am and what the fuck are you doing here, waiting for the doors to open at this craft and hobby mecca??? have you no life? do you not sleep? i don't want to help you!

rescue me from this retail hell!!

i took the stars out of the background since they were troublemakers.

today was horses and we had a good time, cantering out in the woods.. i think it's way cool but a for real cowboy would probably think i was pretty lame. i don't know any cowboys so i don't care.

tonight is a party at the cobbs for liz. i will bake brownies.

laundry is also today.

girl has moved to chicago and dan is moving to muncie, indiana.

i'm really too pooped to post.... i don't know why i'm still sitting here.

well, they finally drove Dead Guy's truck away yesterday, and that's.. a good thing.

i got paid for my first two weeks at michael's and i'm making more than i thought i would. it's very possible i may be okay with just this job for the summer, especially since my hours had been squirrley and will increase in the coming weeks. i've already put calls in up north to beloit to work with the new court theater, but i may not be as desperate for money, so i may be able to just design for them. i may also be able to work for the mendelssohn club, in a small capacity, on their production of quilters.

tomorrow night i go into chicago to meet up with friends. christa finally moved to chi-town, after years of threatening ;). allison is coming into town on work from philadelphia and all us isu kids are getting together for drinks. i have tomorrow off and i don't work until 2 on tuesday, so i can get all woot woot.

i met my new landlords last night, and they tell me they're dedicated to turning this building around, and getting rid of all the trashy tenants - including my ghetto neighbors. they want to replace all the hallway carpet and all the windows in the building. this will be cause for great rejoicing, as my windows now really suck.

i haven't gone to horses in a little bit now, i'm trying to give my ass bones a little break. i've also been busy and tired but i expect now that my schedule is settling down a bit, i will be back in the newer, more comfortable saddle again. betsy thinks that jessie and i may be able to do drill team in the fall if we keep up with our "studies". woot!

i think now i will brunch.

i'm in a very strange mood today. i've had a very busy, stressful, and tiring week or so and i'm really out of gas.

i started full time at michaels, which caused all kinds of petty, immature and vindictive bullshit at my real job. that has been somewhat resolved. not to my satisfaction, or to my benefit really, but resolved, nonetheless. this on top of the everyday stress that already surrounds that job, as we've not made any more headway on the problem of next season.

learning a new job has been really frustrating. i was really dropped into a sink or swim situation and it's really annoying to be learning more new things everyday i show up for work, at this point. there are a lot of things i'm expected to magically know, or pick up instantly. i had forgotten how annoying customers can be.

i heard today that one of the tenants in my building, on my floor, died a week and a half ago. it was on my floor, but i'd been working so much i hadn't been there for the hub bub. there had been a really foul stench on my floor for a few days, but i tried to pass it off on my crappy neighbors. it turns out that this guy who lived down the hall, and weighed approximately 500 lbs. (that's no exaggeratin'), had passed away but hadn't been found for about a week. i'd passed him in the hall, or on the sidewalk outside a few times and we'd always said hi but i didn't really know him. for some reason i can't stop thinking about it. i think it's the idea that nobody noticed he was gone, and so it took a week to find him. his truck is still parked outside, he'll never drive it to work again, and it's full of his everyday stuff that will never get used again. it's a weird idea.

now the hallway smells like disinfectant.

yesterday we got some bonus horsie time. we were out on the trail for 1 1/2 hours before we came back to the ring to practice. i was trying to work on my canter on my regular horse, luke. as it turns out, both luke and i are left handed in our own ways, so we both are weaker on the right side. this means that we both sort of lean heavier to the left and that when we canter, i start to tilt over. so i'm working on situating myself more to the right to balance us out.. it's proving to be frustrating. i swapped with jessie for a couple minutes at the end, and cantered on willie for a bit. tomorrow i'll work with luke more - i think i can get it tomorrow.

tonight's show went well, the audience really enjoyed it. the most exciting part was afterward though, when somebody decided it would be a good idea to set our dumpsters on fire in the alley behind our building. we smelled smoke, went outside (i with extinguisher in hand) and discovered our dumpsters full of fire. i emptied my extinguisher into one while betsy, jessie, and beth ran to get more. i thought i had it out but it flared up again when i ran out of stuff. while i ran back inside to get more extinguishers betsy emptied another into it, and had the same results. jessie came out with another and tried the other dumpster, also to no avail. amy called the firemen while we were out there and they showed up and filled both dumpsters with water and a little of that foam stuff. both were extinguished and everything/body is fine; it was a very exciting end to the evening.

now even after a couple of glasses of koolaid and some cat petting/tv watching, my pipa is still knotty so i've popped a couple of tylenol pm's. horses tomorrow, and i'll be damned if some jackass firesettin moron pyro freak is gonna make me too tired to ride!

today i was hired for a full time job at micheals. i will make crap money that will just pay the rent/bills. i will also be eligible for insurance after 60 days, i will be trained and certified as a custom framer after 60 days and i will also have a set schedule and have every other weekend off, guaranteed, and will be able to take gigs in the city, given the set schedule. i am "lead sales" in the framing dept. they don't care that i will prolly want to go part time in the fall - leaving them to train someone else - they liked me so much that they are working around my current schedule and are willing to hire me over someone that will work full time for them indefinitely (instead of prolly leaving in the fall). i will be working 35 - 40 hrs. a week, days with one night a week and every other weekend off. i get a 25% discount, which will rock for supplies for my real job which are ususally pricey for me (pencils, papers, watercolors, etc.).

i feel better now that i have guaranteed income for the summer. i think that i will be able to save enough in the next couple weeks to cover my rent for the summer, and so the job should only have to pay the bills. that was my goal.

bjork is a genius. she should be declared an international treasure. there should be statues. i am currently listening to selmasongs. i haven't broken this one out in quite a while and am being blown away by it all over again. what's it like to be her??

also, i drank some liquor tonight, and got into a lengthy discussion about god and religion and i think linguistics (to a certain extent). what is god?

i've added another new blog to my good reads section down there.. it's my friend christa. she's known me since college, and probably has lots of good, incriminating stories. she's moving to chicago in may; and so will be more convenient for the drinking and escapades. woot!

today was unexpectedly eventful. i was awakened by d from michael's crafts at 9:30 to come in for an interview. me: "when would you like me to come in?" d: "how about this morning?" me: "that's fine, when should i be there?" d: "when can you be here?" me: "11" d: "okay, great, see you then". i went for the interview and she appeared to just adore me. apparently i said all the right things, except the part about how i may return to the theater in the fall, which interfered with her plans to hire me full time in the framing or floral dept as "lead sales". so i think tomorrow i may return with my theater joseph schedule in hand and tell her that i'm interested in the full time job since i'm not sure i'll be back at the theater in the fall (wink wink). i'd have a set schedule, mostly days, one or two nights a week, and every other weekend off. i'd also just have to work the one job, i figure, instead of the two part times i thought i'd end up with.

the crazy part is that they just hired a new manager a few months ago that is from accokeek, which is two towns over from my hometown. we talked about the franks nursery and crafts store he used to work at that my mom used to shop in. we talked about rt 301 and rts 5 and 925. it was a really tiny world moment.

this evening jessie cooked dinner - cornish game hens with tiny red potatoes and broccoli. it was tasty. we watched disney's hercules, which had some cute moments, but i can't recommend it. then we watched schindler's list, which i had not seen before, just because i never had the chance/mood/time coincide. that is a good movie. ralph fiennes character is so despicable.

i'm trying to get back into reading again, i picked up a couple of books at the library the other day - confessions of an ugly stepsister and savage beauty, which is a biography of edna st. vincent millay. i'm givin' my reading glasses quite a workout!

last sunday i went to horses by myself. betsy and i rode out on the trail; i rode willie 'cause luke wan't well (he's better now). we cantered on the trail, i felt all cowboy!! we also saw a couple of snakes and dogs.

this week we both went and i rode luke, my usual horse. his saddle isn't as comfortable so my ass really hurts right now. we didn't canter at all but we did some trotting and rode a long ways. lunch afterward was great, at the lucky star diner, and now i'm watching cruel intentions while i pay my student loans. ugh.

yesterday i ran wardrobe for the first time, and without shadowing at all so we were totally making shit up. it went fine, nobody went onstage naked.
tonight, and for the next week, i'm running lights - it's a button pushing job, and i like it fine.

last night at walmart i saw a car parked in a spot all normal and stuff, and another car had pulled up right behind it so the second car was in the lane, taking up half the lane. i'm not sure what kind of game was going on there - there wasn't anybody in either car. so maybe some kind of weird psychoredneck revenge?

my noisy ass neighbor is currently doing the Neutron Dance. i fucking hate him.

i'm applying for both summer jobs and for freelance gigs in chicago. it's a little mind-fucking.

on the one hand, i'm insanely qualified for the freelance gigs, and am so on top of that game. i have a Sexy Resume and all kinds of references and mad skillz.

on the other hand, i'm filling out resumes for grocery stores and borders. on those applications i need my employment history for either the last five years or the last three employers. i've had two employers in the last 8 years. my retail experience was so long ago, the store is closed, and who knows what happened to the people i worked with, not to mention they're half a country away.

it's a weird dichotomy. that is a dichotomy, right? or possibly a juxtaposition?

Joseph is finally open. last night was the culmination of weeks of hard work and drinking. it runs until the end of april. it's turned out to be a good show - the audiences seem to just be eating it up.

in other news, i was laid off for about two days this week. it turned around though, and i am no longer jobless - at least not until april 25th. during the two days i was facing imminent unemployment, it really lit a fire under my ass to get my resume up to date and work on getting pics to revamp ye ol' portfolio. thanks to my friend christa i am now the proud owner of a sexy new resume - one for theater and one for not theater, and possibly another chicago gig with the defiant theater, in addition to the show i'm already doing for tinfish. things are looking up - my plan for jeff awards and then world domination is healthy and under way!

so one of the cast members had a party last night for opening. i got tipsy; it was fantastic. i wasn't "falling-down-can't remember-anything-made-an-ass-of-myself-drunk", just "woooo! talking to everybody-social butterfly-drink in hand-tipsy" and it was great. the whole cast was there at one point or another and i chatted with the director, who is from denver, and have just finished printing up copies of my Sexy Resume for her to take back with her. i think i'm "networking".

i must away now, and purchase new jeans. and crew pants to wear for running the show in a ninja-stealth-covert type style.

Thighs Wide Shut
i think i like this guy. and he seems to be from maryland, so that helps. 'cause all the cool kids are from maryland.

last week the weatherman said we would have mid 50's today. in real life, there are two inches of snow on the ground and it's still snowing.

fucking weathermen.

happy st. patrick's day!

i took some photos of proof the other night... got them developed and discovered i really should wear my glasses when i take pictures with my pentax. i took another roll on sunday and haven't seen those yet; hopefully the glasses made an improvement.

i understand that pedestrians have the right of way in parking lots, but what's so difficult about actually looking around when you're walking out of the store and into moving (albeit slow moving, but moving all the same) traffic?

my nieces (my sister's twins) woke up early on sunday and spent the wee hours of the morning smearing vaseline all over their heads. what's funny (besides just that fact) is that when i was younger, i did that same thing to my little sister. i didn't cover her whole head, but did manage a handful. now, the twins are only 2, and i don't see them that often, and they managed to do the same thing to their sisters (each other) without my evil "bad auntie" influence. i ask you - is vaseline associated aggression possibly a genetic pre-disposition?

does rufus wainwright know he's writing just for me?

i've added a new link in the "good reads" section, it's spam poetry. i think it's brilliant. if you don't, well then, you're just wrong.

i'm sitting here at my computer and my cat is on the floor next to me, going batshit over her organic catnip. it's really funny. also, i'd like to reiterate - i lurve my new computer/office nook.

today at work, people from the community donated two high $$ items to the theater, both of which are specifically for the scene shop. one is a horizontal bandsaw, which i've never seen before but my td assures me will be very useful. the other (which i am immeasurably excited about) is a plotter. for those of you not in the know, a plotter is essentially a giant printer that can print documents that are up to 36" wide. this means i can print out my groundplans and drawings right there at work, instead of going to the outskirts of town where we usually go, or to kinko's where they are incompetent simpletons. it's like having 5 christmases all at once.

i have another word to add to the list of annoying "words" - thanx

also, why is there money?

1. What was the last song you heard?
sunglasses at night - corey hart

2. What were the last two movies you saw?
hidalgo and master and commmander

3. What were the last three things you purchased?
cat treats, mountain dew and gas for my car

4. What four things do you need to do this weekend?
finish painting the set, strike, empty the catbox.

5. Who are the last five people you talked to? jessie, eric, jerry, bob, michaela

i'm at work waiting for paint to dry. i can hardly contain my excitement.

one of the things i don't like about my job is the crazy schedule. dan's birthday is coming up and, because of work, i can't go out with him this weekend. that sucks.

otherwise things are just fine. my right hand is permenantly covered in silver spray paint, which gives me a sort of robotic- michael- jackson- one- glove look goin' on. i recently found a mix cd of 80's tunes i made a while back and that has been giving me hours of listening pleasure as of late. i've scored a freelance gig in chicago in august, which will hopefully start to plant my name in those circles, and lead to other gigs and recognition and then to jeff awards and then to complete world domination. maybe.

my Noisy Neighbors came home at 5 am this morning, and decided they needed to get their groove on. i hate.

st. patty's day is coming up.. i think i may actually go out and have something irish to drink, like a whiskey or something. i have to remember to wear green, people will pinch me hard if i don't. they want to see me cry.

we went and saw hidalgo monday night. it was okay.. there were some really pretty picture moments, and i always enjoy omar sharif. i have to say i probably could've rented it and been okay, but seeing all those horses really did make me want to learn to get crazy on a horse.

today horses was cold. it is 40 or so, but there is a biting wind that whips all around and makes it really frigid outside. also, the wind makes the horses want to play and that makes them hard to steer. we stayed in the ring today, which would've been okay except i couldn't really practice much since luke was all ready to get crazy.

my big home project of the weekend is finished - i broke down my drafting table, folded it up and put it in the hall closet. it's the end of an era. i draft on my computer now, so i moved it over to where my drafting table used to be. it's technically a breakfast nook i guess, but i like to call it my "office". now it's even more like an office since there's a computer and little work counter and i actually spend time here now.

this week i will be cutting off my home phone and internet service, so posts may be less frequent for a short time. i have internet at work though, so posting won't be non-existant, prolly just less. i'll miss having internet at home, it's a debate i've been having for quite some time now.. i need the extra $$ in the bank though, so it's the "responsible" thing to do. damn.

What was...

1. ...your first grade teacher's name?
Sr. Katherine

2. ...your favorite Saturday morning cartoon?
Hard to say. Superfriends or Transformers i suppose.... although i can't remember whether they were on saturday mornings, technically.

3. ...the name of your very first best friend?
Susie Hodgson

4. ...your favorite breakfast cereal?
cap'n crunch with crunchberries

5. ...your favorite thing to do after school?
when i was in middle school my favorite thing to do was make a huge glass of chocolate milk when i got home, but not stir it so after i drank all the milk there was a huge pile of chocolate at the bottom... while watching inspector gadget.

actor's equity can bite my fat white ass.

and chew on it.

these "words" really get on my nerves: thru, nite, xtra
is it really so hard to write the extra letter or two?? is it really such a waste of ink, or time, or effort??!

sunday i rode horses again.. i'm learning to canter. it's great fun, it feels way cooler than trotting. i trotted with no hands on sunday, it was very rad.

work is. i wish we didn't have directors. maybe i should just become a studio artist and live on ramen and rice cakes and soy milk, and not shower for days at a time and listen to folk music.

monday night i drove into chicago to meet friends. on the way there i almost died. i cannot recommend hydroplaning at 65 mph.

i can, however, recommend turtle brownies. and caffiene free mountain dew.
also, it never fails to boost my mood when i get a chance to flip someone the bird. do it often!

last friday jessie and i went and saw rufus wainwright in concert. we were at the riviera in chicago, an old theater that's not really been renovated. you could tell that it was maginificent at one time but has fallen into a state of disrepair. it's too bad really.

rufus, however, was in fine form that night and really put on an excellent show. when he opens his mouth the music just comes out and it looks and sounds as effortless as speaking. he played almost all of want one, some tracks from the upcoming want two and even some old favorites like greek song and danny boy. for his first encore, oh what a world, the whole band and rufus came back out on stage in witch hats and capes in a nod to the wizard of oz. he kept his cape on for the rest of that encore and for the second one as well, which was just him and his piano for a few songs. we managed to get right up front, with just one person between us and the fence and then rufus. we had excellent views of him at the piano, which was aimed right at us, and also when he moved right to the edge of the stage to play guitar. it was a really rad show. very low tech, no moving lights, and he was sassy and totally comfortable on stage. good times, good times.

saturday night i went with alan to a mardi gras party. the guy hosting is from new orleans and so had it right on. there was jambalya, turducken, and something else that i forget the name of.. it was wierd though.. like sausage skins filled with a rice mixture that you squeeze into your mouth, leaving the skin. sounds gross, looks gross, but tastes pretty good. there was also a champagne fountain that had hurricanes instead of champagne and a full bar in the back room. also, there was a live band in the living room. it was a great party and i met some really nice people. one guy told me my hair is a sexy color.

sunday i rode horses in the morning, and spent the rest of the day at home, cleaning. it was great. i feel some re-arranging coming on. yesterday i paid off all my parking tickets, bought a city sticker for parking my car, and put a bunch of money back in my savings account. i feel all responsible. last night we went and saw master and commander at the dollar movies. it was a good movie. i'm glad we paid $1 but i definitely would've paid $5 at a matinee. it's packed with story and action, and the 2 1/2 hours flew by. russell crowe was good.

today is more responsibility, back to work again and some errand running for props. i also am trying to work out a floor treatment for joseph - some abstracted hieroglyphic type stuff.

damn that's a long post.

some days i don't like people. today i like them. we had night one of our media fundraiser event tonight, and the media of rockford rock!! we had news anchors from all the networks, 1/2 the radio stations in town, and the local paper come in and do a variety/talent show to benefit us. they have been so great, and so much more excited than we expected! tomorrow should be a blast!

in the morning i think i may go help out with horses again. i haven't been in a few weeks and i missed it last weekend. it's really early though, and i am kinda tired so i guess i'm still on the fence about it.

proof is coming along, we load that in on monday. there's still a lot of work to be done but we'll get it done; that's what we do.

i had a phone conference with my director for joseph yesterday also. we discussed light up cacti and dismemberable sheep.

i'm on the lookout for a summer job. taco bell is hiring at $9/hr.

how come when you have a little change in your pocket, you feel like you got everything you need but when you got no change, you've never wanted french fries so bad in your entire life?

what i would like to know is...

how do you know when it's time to go?

is there a handbook on this??

also in today's news... i have a meeting at 5:30 to help out a local dance troupe.. the meeting is at the strip club up the street. suhweeet.

you know, i'm really tired of this.

spam poetry

i laughed til i cried. i swear.

it went a little something like this...

he: george bush is cunning and smart. i don't agree with all he's gotten done, but he's gotten a lot of stuff done.

me: hitler got a lot of stuff done too.

also, howard dean is a nincompoop.

kerry 2004!

had a great meeting yesterday. maybe i can design after all.

spending the day at home today, impending snow.. possibly 4-6 inches. yay!

two weeks to rufus!

shout out closed indefinitely = new comments engine. in the comments box, the little question mark is a link to smilies, fyi.

liquor is your friend, no matter what people say.

psa: i am not a fucking moron.

today i finally moved that radio console into my house. i like it. now i just need some fake leopard skin and a lava lamp. or a doily and fake flowers, depending on whether i want that hint of mod flare or grandma chic.

also, i just met my new neighbor next door.. he's cute. he's a nice guy named trevor.
he's a milk drinker (he had a gallon with him). it's nice to have regular neighbors.

today i started putting together a
pro homepage
that's gonna go out on my resume and portfolio materials.. it's not done yet, but it'll look more pro than my personal one - hopefully people might take me semi seriously.

you know what's a great word? nefarious. i love that word.

went horseback riding again on sunday. rode lucas bareback, will never do that again. he is skinnier than donnie, and bonier = my ass is still sore. i tried to trot several times (with a saddle i'm fine) and nearly fell off several times. next sunday will definitely require a saddle.

i also just bought two tickets to see rufus wainwright on feb 20th. who am i kidding with the money spending???? he is a god right here on earth though, so i totally believe it's worth it.

also, i'm tipsy whilst writing this... so it's taken me twice as long to type it out.

we're having a garage sale at work tomorrow, where we will sell some of our stock - props, costumes, and some furniture. i am buying a piece for my very own. it's an old school console radio cabinet. one side is empty and i suspect it is the perfect size to hold my component stereo system (i have a bookshelf system for the tv/dvd set-up and a component system that is currently in a little pile on the floor because my jynormous speakers are at home in md). the other half is a hi-fi stereo and phonograph player that's german. it's way cool. currently it doesn't work, but it looks so rad. it appears that all the original parts and pieces are intact, including the vacuum tubes and everything. the dial face is broken on one end, which is sad, but it's still very cool nonetheless. i think the model number indicates it was born in '58.. and it has that martini lounge vespa-riding leopard skin rug bossa nova vibe. i really dig it and it's $30 so if it's junk, it's cheap junk. and, you're sposed to buy what you like so i'm really just following the rules. i will post pics once i re-arrange my apt. to make it a place to live.

yeah, um, it was -5 degrees when i went to work today. the wind chill was -23.
that's too damn cold.

and today it snows.
and snows.

band du jour: the rapture. such fun. can't help but tap the feet and shake the white girl booty just a little. it's sort of electropunk - hard to say. the lead singer actually sounds a lot like robert smith.

also today, took my new cellphone to walmart. it gets reception there.. which is a new thing for me. woot! we cruised the aisles, picked up some cd-rw's, some cheddar and sour cream chips and some cookies. yum.

tomorrow it's back to work. shit.

i got a shiny new cell phone. it's a flip phone, with the little caller id window on the outside. it turns colors when somebody calls. i like it.

i feel guilty when i look at my old cellphone, like i've abandoned it. it works fine, it just is time for a new one. so i feel like i betrayed it. so i think i'm going to take it to the sprint store and donate it to charity.

we're sposed to get 4-6 inches of snow tonight. yippee!!

went to go see cold moutain last night. was sorely disappointed. i felt like it had been billed as more of a love story than it really was. nicole kidman and renee zellweger were really great, and the supporting cast was also great, lots of bit parts with people i recognized (and even pointed at). i felt like there was too much gratutious violence, involving both people and animals. i realize it's a civil war picture but i really felt like a lot of the bloodshed wasn't really necessary to advance the plot or characterization, or anything for that matter.

ah, but what can you do.